![]() Dialogue scenes that include dialogue choices, of all things the villains seem weirdly invested in the opinions of a barely-sentient creature that can just about lick things and say "bum", although I suppose that puts them above most alternative comedians. There's altogether too much dialogue for a game where motivation could be just as easily established by having the villain lean into shot, shake their fist for a second, then lean back out of shot. Look, you have to gather the gems because if you didn't, you wouldn't get to play the video game the plot hardly matters, although someone should've explained that to the cutscene writer. I don't know, someone wrote all the Netflix passwords on them. What's that supposed to represent, Nintendo? The moment when your little brother gets bored and pours jam on the crafting project?Īnyway, the Yoshis are on their island and continuing their carefree lives of skipping about, saying "bum" a lot, when Baby Bowser - who seems to be really struggling for things to fill his time with in these days before puberty hits and he takes an interest in date rape - decides to steal their five magical gems, and one of the Yoshis has to go across the world gathering them all up again, because. And it doesn't even entirely commit to the "crafting" aesthetic I spotted at least one slime monster. Hopefully, now the Switch can pick up where the Wii U left off with Yoshi's Crafted World, which isn't the greatest title in the world, lacking the alliteration of " Yoshi's Woolly World" " Yoshi's Crafted World" just sounds like the name of a TV show that goes out at about 3 PM on BBC Two, designed to distract retirees from setting fire to themselves for another half-hour. While far too fucking late as it may be to suggest improvements - like, for example, a controller that didn't feel like holding three classic Game Boys Scotch Taped together - maybe the problem was that it didn't have enough Yoshi's Island sequels that looked like they were made from the contents of your grandma's biscuit tin. The console that brought us Devil's Third, a failure? Surely not! ![]() I was a little surprised! I mean, I know the Wii U was a giant, awkward Etch A Sketch that couldn't leave the room or fit into a purse but nonetheless dreamed of being a handheld the way a giant panda dreams of learning to tap dance, and I know there was that whole incident where Satoru Iwata had to dock his own pay and chop off a finger in front of the shareholders, but it's rare for me to feel so completely vindicated by hindsight. There it is, right under the Vectrex and the Virtual Boy on the list of commercial flops. This week, Yahtzee reviews Yoshi's Crafted World.ĭid you know that the Wii U is remembered by history as a failure? I mean, unless you want to call Wikipedia a liar.
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